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A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.”
The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.”
The rabbi continues, “And look at this. Here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then he hands the bottle to the priest.
The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.
The priest asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The rabbi replies, “No…I think I’ll wait for the police.”
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A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The Rabbi responds, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”
The Priest then asks, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
To which the Rabbi replies, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork.”
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The Priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”
The Rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
The Priest replied, “Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.”
The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, “A lot better than pork isn’t it?”
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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have no money on them. The priest says, “I’ve got an idea how to get us some free drinks.” He walks in alone and the rabbi stands at the door and watches.
The priest orders a drink, drinks it, and then the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, “But my son, I’ve already paid for the drink.” The bartender says, “I’m terribly sorry, father, but it’s really busy in here and I must have forgotten.” The rabbi walks in and orders a drink. After he drinks it, the bartender gives him the tab, and the rabbi says, “Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink.” The bartender says, “I’m terribly sorry, rabbi, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but that’s the second time that happened to me today.”
The rabbi says, “That’s okay, son, no offence taken. Now, just give me change for the twenty I gave you, and I’ll be on my way.”